this blog, as mentioned in the last post is going to start to contain a lot darker content than was previously put out on it. the transition from an evergreen computer blog to a personal disability narrative might be jarring, … Continue reading
content warnings and faqs for this blog moving forward
so, as we approach the final date of the start of this project, i want to give everyone who’s been here the whole time (i know there’s a few of you and i have nothing but love for each and … Continue reading
the cost of homelessness that no one talks about
one thing that no one ever talks about homelessness is how it changes your relationship with permanence and “stuff and things” as i like to call it. having been functionally homeless for most of my adult life (my housing was … Continue reading
why i’m recovery neutral-apathetic
when people hear “recovery neutral” or “recovery apathetic” they immediately assume that the person means that they simply don’t want to get better or maybe that they actively want to worsen their disorders. however, in my experience, those who are … Continue reading
the unspoken question behind self-harm
i began self-harming in infancy, before i could speak. before i could conceptualise what self-harm meant, my body and nervous system were already primed to receive regulation in the form of pain. this trend continued as i got older and … Continue reading
a new way of approaching ‘evergreen’ content
one thing that i’ve struggled with as i move forward with this blog and the project surrounding the documentation of my life as a disabled person is how i want to approach the evergreen content that started this blog in … Continue reading
in the spirit of making this feel more like a ‘mad hermit’s diary’
i’m going to just start posting, whenever, wherever. sticking to too rigid a structure for this blog sort of defeats its purpose as a living document regarding life as a disabled person in 2026 america. current narratives fail to centre … Continue reading
tolerance break is… easier than i thought it would be
i’m two days off cannabis now, planning for an 8 week tolerance break to really downregulate those cb1 receptors because i don’t get high anymore, like at all, and it fucking blows. i know i’m a medical patient and so … Continue reading
time for a tolerance break!! … hooray…
so, basically, i’ve been smoking weed multiple times a day for about six years now. and like, my tolerance has gotten crazy. like it’s so genuinely not funny anymore because i’m vaping 99% liquid diamond concentrates eight days a week … Continue reading
got my first batch of real jirai clothes
went on a little shopping spree on aliexpress a while ago and the stuff that i bought is finally starting to arrive! i know it might seem strange to get up and get all dressed up only to sit at … Continue reading